25th

So basically I had a birthday party of which only 25 of my closest friends and family were invited (altho not all could make it). I bought them dinner, drinks, dessert and in turn they gave me one of the best nights of my life.

Just gonna spam pictures now:

My $180 Durian cake 🎂 was damn good. 

What's up

I don't think I'm suitable for this job. Not so much job-scope wise but more of like everything else that comes with it.

I put others before self. This is not to say that I'm not selfish, I am, just in other ways.

I hold back and let myself be a pushover.

I willingly and stupidly take the blame for others.

I apologize far too much.

I'm extremely nice to everyone hoping others will do the same.

I naively believe that everyone is a friend only to get blindsided so many damn bloody times.

I'm afraid of seniors and juniors bully me.

I care too much.

I get emotionally affected everytime something goes wrong and it brings me down.

I still let history repeat itself over and over and over again.

Why am I still 'here'? Because even after everything I found a few humans just like me. And it makes everything so much more bearable. They are not colleagues, they are friends that I'll keep for a long long time. Besides, I really do love my job so yeah. I chose my poison. 

Just one of those troubled nights

I can't sleep, can't think straight and is this close to losing my shit.