I don't know what I want in life anymore.

Some days I'm crystal clear like.. that, that's what I want.

And now before I go to bed I'm like.. God I have no freaking idea.

#21YearOldCrisis

This barely makes up one post I know. 

Sooo many of my friends commented: "EH YOUR LAST POST DISAPPOINTING LA HOR, I THOUGHT GONNA BE DAMN LONG ALL."

And my other group of friends will say: "Eh you know my friends ask if I'm your friend uh. They all got read your blog sia. Now you Ms Pop liao lo."

I don't know what to make of it. With my closer friends I can just act one *flip hair* and laugh about it. With the not so close friends, I honestly don't know what to say. Thank you? As in yes I'm deeply humbled that people read my blog and thank you for your support. But I never intended to come across as a cool kid or something along that line.

I'm just talking cock on this platform like I would any other day in real life. I'm not trying to be someone I'm not. I don't need to be famous or what. I just wanna be happy being me.

I don't even know what I'm typing anymore. I'm seriously thinking of deleting this blog. I know I confirm plus chop will regret like mad uh. Breathe readers, I'm putting this thought on hold for now.

I just feel like I can't be sharing my thoughts if I myself am suffering from some sort of identity crisis y'know? Like what if I'm some mad woman ranting her thoughts and some young girls really gong gong go follow? WAH I cannot, bu ke yi la horrr?

Okay kidding, my ah lian self needs to stay home. I'm not bringing her out anytime soon but do you get my point?

I have to be responsible for what I say on my blog. Fuck freedom of speech because as a matter of fact, what I type here ACTUALLY AFFECTS THE MIND OF OTHERS.

People. literally. come. up. to. me. and. tell. me. they. agree. or. look. up. to. me. I. Am. A. Freaking. Role. Model. Now. Yo.  My. Fucking. Thoughts. Do. Matter. OMG.

Sarah? A role model? Sarah, a role model. I'm anything but a role model. At least for now. Maybe 5 years down the road I might read this again and go, yes sarah a role model. But for now, I'm just an overgrown teenage girl who knows far too much for her own good.

21 and young.