I think

I think about the day we talked
I think about the first time you held my hand
I think about the day I walked away
I think about how sorry I was and still am

I think about how hard I fell
I think about the the times we fought
I think about how young we were
I think about us a lot

I think about how you used to look at me
I think about how she came between
I think about the pain, the grief
I think about the good times and hand me another shot of gin

I think about how you barged into my life
I think about how much I wanted you to be mine
I think about the day we kissed
I think about how I felt when I was with you, oh so fine

I think about how we both agreed to take things slow
I think about the stupid conversations we had
I think about the day you apologised
I think about your face when you said "it was my bad"

I think about your love for me
I think about how we were always, almost it
I think about how happy we were
I think about the times we were pretty sweet

I think about the mess you made
I think about how we walked your dog together
I think about those moments we were out till late
I think about how we could have been forever

I think about you the most
I think about you in my sleep, when I talk
I think about you like a dream came true
I think about you like chains, keys and lock

I think about how you picked me from work at 4am
I think about how you sent and fetched me everywhere
I think about the crazy things you told me
I think about how I was right, it was going nowhere

I think about you all the time
I think about the good and the bad
I think about how all of you changed my life
I think about how little control of my life I had

I think about how good it feels to be alone sometimes
I think about how it would be nice to have someone too
I think about my friends who are getting/ got married
I think I about how I have my nike shoes

Add-ons:

I think about my life and goals
I think about how much I love my mum
I think about not giving aussie up
I think about how glad I am to have done

I think about about my plans for the future
I think about how I wanna fly for a while
I think about how it could possibly be a joke
I think about me, a 22 year old still cooped up in a shell

I think about my solo trips
I think about my couple trips
I think about growing old
I think about money and tips

I think about the war and pain
I think about hungry kids with broken shins
I think about terrorism these days
I think about world peace not just the self-proclaimed glory of pageant queens

I think about how if I have a choice
I think about the volunteer work I'll do
I think about leaving everything behind
I think about building schools and humanity too

I think about learning my fifth language
I think about the importance of communication
I think about my ideal contributions to the world
I think about how it shouldn't just be my imagination

I think about how this isn't a poem
I think about how it's not supposed to rhyme
I think about how hungry I was before this post
I think about baking an apple crumble but hey, I've got no time

I think about my law exams round the corner
I think about how exciting my life might be after
I think about our lives so short
I think about how we should fill it with laughter

I think about how I should end this now
I think about whether I should gym tomorrow
I think about how sleepy I felt in school today
I think about the late nights and pimples that will follow

Oh god.

Plans never go according as planned

I haven't been in the best of moods lately. God sometimes I really don't understand what you have in store for me.

By Beth Cormack

I'm Only 22. I Don't Want Someone Else to Be My Whole World.

I am a firm believer in true love. I do believe that there is someone out there for me who will eventually sweep me off my feet and make me wonder why I ever settled for anybody else. There is a man out there for me, with whom I will celebrate countless anniversaries, Valentine's Days and birthdays. There is a man with whom I will be able to get through any fight, distance or hardship, knowing that nothing will ever change. There is a man out there with whom I will share an unbreakable bond, held together by the deep desires of love.

But not today.

I don't want someone I "won't be able to imagine my life without." I don't want someone to "have my whole heart." I don't want someone to be "my whole world," or "my rock," or "my better half." I don't want somebody who can understand me better than I can understand myself.

I want to feel whole. I want to be my own rock, my own anchor, my own soul mate. I want to understand myself better than anyone else can. I don't want to look back and hate myself for altering my future for someone else when I know I wasn't ready to.

That's why I don't want to find the man I will love forever today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that.

For those who know me, you know that when I fall, I fall fast and I fall hard. I am a hopeless romantic who wears my heart on my sleeve. I simply love the idea of being in love. I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't have some type of interest in a guy. I love having a "texting buddy." I love feeling desired. I have gotten hurt a few times, but I always pick myself up and try to move on. Moving on is hard for me, though, simply because I love being in love. I've called guys my "better half" and my "rock." I've convinced myself that I couldn't picture my life without them. I'm starting to realize now that that's the last thing I want in my future relationship. Especially as a young woman in my early 20s. Before I enter into any serious relationship, I need to feel like I'm complete. And I need to be able to feel complete while completely alone.

Too many women depend on men to make them happy, and I would be lying if I said I haven't done that myself. At this point in my life, I don't know how to be completely independent when I'm in a relationship. I know many girls who can be, but personally, I don't know how.

I have dreams. I have plans that only involve myself. I'm at a pivotal point in my life; I get to decide where I go from here. I can travel, move across the country and make stupid spontaneous decisions, just because I can. As of right now, there is nothing holding me back from where I want to take my life (well, having a bit more money might be nice, but I'll figure that one out eventually). I don't want to find my true love yet. I'm not ready to settle, and I'm not ready to alter my personal plans for someone else. The only thing I'm ready for is discovering where my life takes me post-grad. I'm ready to move across the country. I'm ready to make new and beautiful memories with the people I'll meet along the way. But I'm simply not ready to fall in love again.

As my college career is coming to a close and I'm starting to find out what I want for my life, I'm beginning to realize that I never want to fall for a guy whom I consider to be my "better half." I don't want a better half. I want to be whole. I want to consider myself and my happiness as more important than any relationship I will ever be involved with. Does this make me selfish? No. This makes me able to know that I can and will be happy alone, no matter how many heartbreaks might come my way.

Some people marry their high school sweethearts; some of my friends have done so or plan on doing so. And I love them for that. I think their relationships are healthy, and I have loved watching them grow independently, even though they have a significant other. I admire them for that. There is nothing wrong with already finding the person who you want to spend the rest of your life with at a young age. You can still live a complete life with a boyfriend/girlfriend by your side at age 22. But I know myself enough to know that I'm not at the point in my life where I can do that.

I want to imagine my own life. I want to be able to navigate through life's exciting opportunities and devastating disappointments independently -- and if and when a guy decides he wants to join me, I'll still be able to have the peace of mind that I can do it alone. I will be able to imagine my life without him, because at that point, I will have already done it alone.

Many of you may read this and view me as a loner. Or maybe you'll think I hate the idea of love. Believe what you wish, but neither of these assumptions is true. Like I said before, I can't wait for the day I find my true love. I can't wait to be able to look a guy in the eyes, say "I love you," and know that it means "I love you forever." I can't wait for a guy to love me, challenge me and support me emotionally every day for the rest of my life. That day will come, but I haven't lived enough yet.

I'm 22. I have too many stupid decisions to make before I decide my fate. I have the rest of my life to find the guy who gives love a whole new meaning for me.

That day will come. Just not today.