15 pages long

Are my feelings justified or am I over thinking or am I self sabotaging?

I went to read my fortune twice; a traditional chinese fortune teller and a psychic with tarot cards

Both done this year and the readings are eerily similar.

(FT)Traditional Chinese fortune teller took about 40mins, costs a flat rate of $50. Read my palms, facial features and 生辰八字 (DOB and TOB). Words spoken in Cantonese and a little mandarin.

(P)Psychic with tarot cards took about 1hr, costs $150 (or 30mins for $80). Read my energy as well as answer each of my questions by shuffling and flipping cards. Words spoken in English.

I asked the general stuff like love, career and overall reading of life. Somethings are private to me, so I wouldn't share but I will keep you guys updated with the rest.

Let's go with love first.

Exes

(FT) 10/10 accuracy. She said that one of my relationship almost reached the marriage stage, another one couldn't decide to commit whenever we talked about it, another one was emotionally abusive and another one cheated on me etc. She said the last guy will come back and contact me.

He fucking did. The audacity. Freaky right.

(P) 8/10 accuracy. She asked for a picture of the guy I last dated (different guy from when I saw the FT). Read his characteristics, personality and also why it ended the way it did. (For my closure sake) "Your instincts are most accurate, so if you think he will be back, he will be back. Vice versa."

I guess I don't know because my instincts are shit this time.

The One

Both said the same thing. Exactly. Okay but like not word for word kind.

(FT) He wouldn't be that much older than you.

(P) Younger than 35.

(I'm 28 so I guess they are similar in that sense?)

(FT) You would be very happy, very loved by everyone in his family.

(P) Your cards show a lot of love, a lot a lot of love and happiness coming your way.

(FT & P) You will have 2 children. (LOLOLOL FT SAID FIRST KIDDO ISSA BOY WE SHALL SEE K)

(FT) You will meet him and get married. Marry after 30 is better. Your divorce line very long, need to break the "curse".

(P) If you haven't already met him, you will meet the right guy next year and settle down. He is driven, he is smart, he is extremely hard working and possibly an earth sign. But you will meet two guys at the same time and only you will know which is the one.

Gg siao liao lor.

(FT & P) You will have a lot of suitors your whole life. You will meet and date a lot of different wrong guys before you meet the right one.

(FT) 很多烂桃花 (a lot of guys will waste my time) Why you so stupid always fall for wrong guys though. (She said that I'm not kidding HAHA)

(P) Your cards show you will be very happy with regards to your love life, after all the wrong guys you dated. You need to keep putting yourself out there and date differently. There's a pattern and you need to break it.

(FT & P) Don't be dejected, it's your path that you are destined to have to walk through.

I just hope they are right.

Career

(FT & P) Can sense that you are questioning your career path. Can feel (read) the dread. Keep flying. It's the job best suited for you.

(P) Your cards show that you will keep growing and climbing the ladder.

(FT & P) Your money and savings will grow.

Whatthefuck HAHAHA. Cannot quit liao.

Overall reading of life

(FT) 先苦后甜 (will suffer in the beginning but enjoy life afterwards) Don't worry, you are a smart girl with a great life ahead. You will have a very blissful life.

(P) Your cards show your worst is almost over and good things are about to come your way. I can see that after you ride through this period, you will find love and happiness. Don't be so hard on yourself and keep trying. Before the year ends, keep doing things that make you happy and you will find life very fulfilling. Next year is a good year, financially.

I asked about other things with regards to family and friends but I am just gonna bring it with me to my grave. I hope they both are right. I hope they both are accurate. I am desperate for all the good things to come true.

The most torturous thing officially, is crying on the public transport for 4 hours.

ACRZ

I think I'm finally ready to move on. But I do wish that I've never met you. Or believed a single word you said.

The mess you left behind, the me that you broke with disregard, the walls I'd have to build from scratch, the inability to trust new people I'll meet in time to come. And it's all because I let you in. At what cost?

I contemplated with how I felt after the entire episode. Unresolved anger? I didn't do anything wrong and yet I'm made to.. I'm at a loss. There's not a single expression that could ever possibly come close enough to explain what I went through.

Irony. Still, you taught me that one should never lower her standards, that promises are just words, that walking the talk means everything. And you are anything but.

Carbonara? I'm safer away from you.