How I'm feeling right now

Futile

Constantly talking to a wall on fire.

Where do we go from here?

I'm tired.

I'm really very tired.

It's just so fucking ridiculous.

I'm just so exasperated, so exhausted.

There's just no way of getting through.

I ended up feeling so defeated, so resigned.

SUSHI IS AN AMBASSADOR

Quote SUSHILOKE15 during checkout for 15% off all items on: https://arthemisclothing.com/?ref=Y9Jpc-xnOm7-c

🐺

Hi everybody, meet Sushi.

For some reason I feel like this my pregnancy whereby I can't tell anybody about the first trimester, cause y'know.. afraid to jinx it. HAHA. So yes I'm typing this in advance before I lose track of everything. Eh old already must give chance.

22 years. Every birthday, every Christmas, every possible "what do you want", I had only one wish. A dog. After my parents had a divorce when I was 5, I only wanted a dog. A companion. I don't know why but cuteness aside, it has to be something about them being a man's bestfriend. And I needed a friend. Desperately. A friend I could hug and cry to who would never think of me otherwise no matter what. A friend whose life mission was just to make me happy.

Don't get me wrong. I have friends. You might even say a lot. But I've always felt that I'm the least important one in all my groups/cliques. Maybe it's because I tend to stretch my time with as many friends as possible instead of just spending time with that few good ones. Or maybe it's because I chose flying as a career and I'm hardly in town. Whatever the case, I feel like everybody can live with or without me.

I have always been weird. It could be due to the divorce. It could be that I'm the only child. It could even be this ridiculous reason that this sister here is an aquarius lol and we are all weirdos. But yes, I've been extremely weird growing up and I believe I still am. It could be for the fact that in this huge 4 room flat, there was only my mother and I for 22 years. And when she was at work, I would be alone at home facing 16 walls. Pretty much.

My mother had it tough. She had to take on the role of a mother, a father, a nanny, a maid etc. So it's not that I'm short of love. I probably feel so over-compensated with her love that sometimes it can get overwhelming. When we quarrel, there was nowhere to run. It's not like I have a sibling where I could just go "you see your mother" and then we can just laugh about it or cry together. She never remarried and I never had another (step) sibling. But we good now. If anything I should be the one giving birth. 时辰到了。HAHAHA.

Hours spent alone at home was perhaps a lil too much. It got to a point where I have this crazy tendency, an urge to spend hours and hours outside. Imagine how I suffered during quarantine?! I love being around people (until I started flying then I loved staying home. Now CB stay home too long wanna go out LOL). The more the merrier. I'm an introverted extrovert. Like I'm good alone but if you put me with people I JUST GO SIAO. I can't stop talking, I can't stop hugging. The loneliness is also possibly the reason to why I was in and out of relationships for 8 years straight. Must be daddy issues la. HAHAHA. Kiddz. I've got that part of my life all sorted out now.

Basically over the span of 22 years, I've used every possible method to force my mother to get me a dog. I begged, blackmailed, act cute, cried, pled, prayed, threatened, wished.. you name it I've done it. But I did it knowing that there was no way my mother would say yes. For starters, when we are both at work or out with our friends, who is going to take care of the dog?? We couldn't bear to do this to our doggo.

So this year with the whole covid thing, I'm finally home. Home as in, no flights. Home as in until predicted year of recovery in 2024, I could even be jobless. Home as in, whatever I do before my next flight I'm technically capable of taking care of a pet. And being the supportive mother, she has actually offered to bring the doggo to work if I really am onboard and have to be away for a few days. If die die cross fingers really kena retrenched, my next job would most likely be a 9-5 and that's fine too for my doggo I guess. Also if really buay sai both super busy, we are contemplating on getting a maid as well. It's a perfect timing to bring a baby home now.

Finally, may I present to you MY Sushi. A pomsky.

22 September 2020

It was love at first sight.

We actually considered adopting, so we called SPCA etc but they didn't pick up. Because it's the covid period now, even when we swung by the Animal Lodge, we were turned away as well. We had to make an appointment first. In the meantime I contacted at least 15 shops. Be it physical pet shops, pet farms, Instagram/facebook pet shops.. only 3 responded. WAH CURRENTLY WORLD WIDE SHORTAGE OF PUPPIES MAI SIAO SIAO. Supply vs demand. The price hike is insane. It was ridiculous. A corgi used to be like $4k, now it's $7k?!?!

Those shops that usually import doggos from every part of the world had very limited puppies available in store (cause covid then y'know hard to breed). Even then, they were all sold out or reserved. Yes I'm not even kidding. They will text me things like, "oh I have some more puppies coming in next week but they have been reserved already". WHAT THE. And for those shops that breed locally right, they would just straight up tell me "SOLD OUT". Till this date, my fam will still mention that Sushi was destined. It was fated.

What happened was that I made a few appointments for viewing on 23 August, Sunday. But just before heading to the last appointment, my fam and I randomly walked past this shop that had the door open for another customer. When we walked past, ohmyfortheloveofgod at the corner of my eye I saw this cute pomsky that was so mild!! I buay tahan immediately jump queue even though we didn't have an appointment and jitao asked the breeder about the pomsky. She informed me that there was only one pomsky cause her sibling didn't make it a few days after he was born. But the surviving doggo just so happened to be a female OMG (cause I don't wanna give belly rub hor then got THING protruding HAHAHA).

It was fated because we told ourselves that we'll just roam around for awhile first even though it was raining and the mosquitos bohoseh. But aiya why not right since we were extremely early might as well go gai gai first before driving to the last appointment to see a golden labradoodle. Of which hor they cancelled on us knn damn last minute like we were literally standing at the shop's door, scan SafeEntry but there was nobody inside k tsk. So right, it really felt like it was an exchange from God.

We saw so many doggos that day but nothing, absolutely nothing gave me the feeling that the pomsky gave me. I knew that she was The One. You see ah, there's always gonna be doggos cuter, personality that suits you better but this kinda thing really must see time and place. 缘份。缘份到了 cannot fight it, just embrace - that's how i kept psychoing my mother. HAHAHAH. But after 3 days of careful, life-changing, serious consideration and research, I really really really damn scared somebody else were to take her home first. So on 26 August, Wednesday we paid our deposit. Wallet ded.

I'm just gonna spam some photos:

Newborn

About a month-ish

About two months

Two months and two weeks old (and also the customer at the background is the one that we cut the queue la sorry not sorry) JUST LOOK AT HER PAWS SO SMOL

Two months and three weeks old. The day she became my Sushi.

She still has 2 more vaccinations to go and was just microchipped when I reserved her. We couldn't touch her yet until a week later but we were told to bring an old shirt as well as a pee tray so she can slowly get accustomed to our smell and defo for potty training purposes. We have been dog-proofing our house nonstop, rearranging things here and there, keeping all the loose items etc. A lot of work okay, really not so easy to bring a doggo home. The good thing is though we not rich but we have plenty of space and 16 walls to choose from HAHAHA.

I've been buying so many things online and one by one they were delivered to my place. Cannot sleep in peace y'know, every few hours my door bangBangBANG NinjaVan. Really can cry. But it's gonna be so freaking worth it. Also on Sushi's behalf I need to thank Uncle Jdy, Aunty Jocelyn and Aunty Jasmine for all the stuff they bought. 谢谢你们. My Sushi already got so much love, I think my actual baby gonna be damn spoilt.

Food and water bowl from Uncle JDy

Electric dog nail buffer from Uncle JDy

Baby bathtub from Aunty Jocelyn

Sushi's collar from Aunty Jasmine

2nd September, Wednesday. The day we hugged her, played with her. Omg she is already stuck to me, kept running to me, playing with me and licking me LOL. Sooo cuteee!! I gave her a pink pee tray and also an old shirt of mine that I wore the night before to make sure she knows what her mummy smells like.

Sushi hugging me and my mother pulling her away from me. Tsk

See she only wants me HEHE

AIYOOO AIGUUU

Belly rubs

My old Looney Tunes PJs

Also can I just say she's super clumsy HAHAHA LIKE ME SHE KEPT FALLING AND KNOCKING INTO THINGS GG

One more vaccination on 15th September and she would be home on 22nd September. As I'm typing this, she'll be home in exactly 20 days from now OHMYGOD. Note to self: last vaccination would be on 15th October and we would have to shave her after 22nd October so that she wouldn't shed as much fur for the rest of her life. Idk how this works but apparently iz liddat.

Dog proofing isn't funny, it is really so so so so so much work. Both my mom and I were on our fours crawling around the house looking for sharp corners, tying up wires, wiping almost all of our furniture and even the living room walls. 我的妈呀。But I really CANNOT WAIT. We went down on 19th September to pass her another recent PJs of mine to refresh "my smell". We didn't manage to carry her because her last vaccination was only 4 days ago. But she has grown so much already!!

My Baobei

My heart cannot 2 more days and you'll have your forever home 宝贝

22 September 2020, welcome to your forever home Sushi Loke. Follow us on @sarahandsushi on ig thanks hoooomans. Hahaha

27 too old, 27 too young

Hi it's me. I don't know who still reads this. Hi, you. How have you been? I've been so withdrawn to the point that I don't even type in my safe space anymore. Here, this platform used to be a place where I could escape from reality for just a tad bit.

27 too old. Should I claim to be 26 since this year is pretty much thrash? Should I change the title to 26 too old? Nah I may be in this headspace but I'm not in denial.

27 too old. Too old to be making stupid mistakes. Too old to know better. Too old to just keep running from life. Too old cause I'm hitting my thirties in three years time. The thing is. I don't feel old. But the whole age is just a number thing is utter bullshit. I mean, it is a number. I don't feel a day older than 23 but the truth is, these four years did pass me by. I made plenty of decisions this four years. I could have settled. Probably have a baby by now. I lost 2.5 girlfriends (0.5 cause she still kind). My choice. I stayed in the airline industry when I thought I would only stay for two. The thing is I can't pretend this four years didn't happen. I spent everyday, making decisions, my emotions and my feelings, all the ups and downs were real. It did happen. Age isn't just a number. 

When I was a lot younger I thought people at 25 were young adults who were figuring their shit out. I looked at people who were 28 and thought they were adults who got it all. Adulting. What a word. At 19 I was like, omg so bittersweet blablabla my last year of being a teenager but fuck yes I would be taken seriously and I was two years to being 'legal'. At 19 I was responsible and smart. Probably a lot wiser than I am now at 27. You see growing up was different for me. I was forced to mature before the rest. I hated when people undermined me and brushed me off just cause I'm 19. I exceptionally hated the whole I ate more salt than you ate rice crap. I was clear headed. I'm not like those who looked back and was like omg how could I think I knew everything back then. The fucked up thing is I did know everything back then. I did. I had goals and aspirations and realistic plans and my life was going to be amazing. I'm not sore that my prime is over. I'm disappointed in who I've become.

27 too young. If by my screwed definition of 28 being an adult, technically I still have one more year to fuck up. You see at 22, one year after I turned 'legal' I THOUGHT I KNEW EVERYTHING. But I wasn't the same me when I was 19. Relationships after relationships. The problem is that I've never been single for more than two months. A part of me thinks it's too fast, I should heal before I commit. Another part of me thinks that I'm still young, what if this is the one then I would be wasting precious time. I'm still young, I should still try it out, like I'd never know right? Okay to be fair I never really brought emotional baggage from the previous relationship to the next. I knew whenever I deserved better and when I wanted out. Yeah I think I can safely say I left, walked out, or outgrew every single one of them.

27 too young. Too young to know I should've tried to worked things out instead of running. Too young to be restricted by society's standards. Too young to say, it is what it is. Too young to be so harsh and unforgiving of myself. Most importantly, too young to have to settle. Where should I begin. This year I reflected, thought about a lot of things mostly because I feel trapped like literally and figuratively.

I mean I literally have been stuck at home since March 16 minus four days, two of which I managed to get the fuck out before Circuit Breaker commenced and two days sometime last week that I actually had to report for work. LAONIANG DID NOT LEAVE HOME DURING QUARANTINE, I GOT INTO SO MUCH TROUBLE BECAUSE OF MY MAHJONG POST. Fuck cannot play alone for sanity sake ah. If I left home and somebody baotoh limbu suck thumb. LIMBU STAYED HOME THROUGHOUT MY QUARANTINE KENA CALL SAY 'SOMEBODY WHO CARES ABOUT SOCIETY' COMPLAINED THAT JIEJIE HERE LEFT HOME TO PLAY MAHJONG. Knn I stayed home hor. If I never stay home would I be this piece of wreckage?! Wah every bloody time I think about it, I fume. I still hope you step on Lego, trip and fall then Lego poke your eyes. You blind fuck. It's been two months and I'm not taking back my curse. Truth is I stayed home until I ki siao already. I think I know how many steps it takes to walk around my entire house. Don't know don't anyhow talk cock. Y'know defamation or slander not? Nnb. I really angry.

Okay yah so I've been trapped. Mentally and emotionally. I second guess myself a lot. Some days I would just wild away my time. Other days I would be really motivated and productive. Most of the days I would just question what the actual fuck do I want out of this life. Should I settle? Is this it? Is this all there is? At 27, can I choose to walk a path so different, unexpected or unprecedented? If I was the person I was at 19, would I respect the person I am now? Would I still have done what I've done if given a second chance? Would I have studied harder, partied lesser, chose my other halves with both eyes wide open or treasured certain friendships more? Do I regret anything?

I know some of you may think I'm silly to think all these at 27. I still have a life ahead of me, that I'm only 27. The thing is, I do hope so. I hope I'm wrong and you're right. That I'll live till I'm old and wrinkly. That when I look back, I'll laugh at myself today and see how life will be good to me in time to come. That I'll be everything I aspired to be at 19.

Hey it's Saturday, 7.30am now. I wish you're happier than you have ever been. I wish that you are who you ever wanted to be. I wish you nothing but the best. Take care and it's not goodbye for now. I'm just gonna rest my mind, rest my heart and rest my soul.

Sarah Yong, 27

From LOA to QO

The whole time in Japan during my annual leave I was so afraid of the news update. Afraid to be denied entry back home. I remembered from 28th Feb to 6th March, I was reading the news every single day without fail.

At that point in time the flights back from Mainland China, Iran and South Korea were denied entry into Singapore. Or rather, it was essential for passengers to declare to authorities of their travel histories. You see as crew, it was fine to be travelling day in day out as if we were immuned to the virus. But as we take those seats in civilian clothing, we were highly susceptible.

On the 5th of March, there was an update requiring crew to declare if they have been to Japan the past 14 days under personal travel. Operating crew had clearance though. I didn't know what was going on but I was so close to coming home. I panicked. Will my flights be removed? I mean yes 50% of the flights had been cancelled, but what about my existing ones at that point in time?

6th March, came home, declared. All was good. Luck one, strike. Reported for my Manila layover on the 8th and was back on the 10th. 12th March, Manila announced lockdown. Luck two, strike. I told myself I had to, had to report for London on the 13th. It was my only long flight for the month. Looking at my remaining roster, Taipei changed from a layover to a turnaround to a cancelled flight. I had 5 standbys and an upcoming Osaka which was also disrupted in the end. I needed that London.

Still can selfie in hotel all. Tsk.

On 15th of March, Singapore announced stay home notice (SHN) for those who failed to reach before 2359 on the 16th. My passenger load for London was overbooked. It was like Train To Busan. If you missed my flight, you knew what you were in for. Luck three, strike. I reported for work as per usual, but I didn't know what was coming for me. *Drama*

16th was unknowingly the first day of my Leave of Absence (LOA). I said unknowingly because my roster changed on the 18th, revealing 14 days of LOA with effect from the last point of contact with a suspected case. I was upset. It was like lady luck ran out and I was scared. Okay. Whatever. LOA just meant that I had no more flights. Fine. No work for 2 weeks, I shall take it as approved No Pay Leave and just take a break. Alright. A well deserved break. Perhaps catch up with friends or just do whatever I wanna do y'know. 14 days mahjong bring it on. But oh boy.

19th, I received a call from MOH. "You have a confirmed case on your recent flight back from London thus Quarantine order has been served." I was emotional. We cabin crew just want to do our jobs. We are so exposed considering how much we travel and the close proximity we share with passengers 14000 feet in the air. Unsung heroes and heroines in our suits and kebaya, when all we do is risk our health to bring people from places to places. It's not that I'm complaining, it's my job and I chose it. I love my job. But I can't help feeling affected when the general public just look at us and go "pay cut only, everybody also pay cut". Recently, a few posts ran viral:

Credits to J and D respectively.

We too have loved ones and are vulnerable to exposure because of our jobs. This lunar new year, I could sense (understandable) fear from my extended family during visiting. "Ah girl ah, you got fly to China not." Was it fear of my health, or was it fear of theirs? I can't stress enough on how we shouldn't travel when we aren't feeling well. In the words of my colleagues, flying when you're sick is irresponsible and selfish. Not only do you put the rest of the 300 passengers at risk, 23 of us will have to be away from loved ones and have our lives put on stand still. No flights, no money. Simple. Our rice bowls have been jeopardized. That wasn't fair. But above all, I was afraid to go home. What if, just what if I was incubating it unknowingly. My loved ones are so innocent leh. REALLY SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AND LOVE ONES WHO CAN'T STOP WORRYING ABOUT ME. I'm okay, okay :) Thank you for all your overflowing well wishes and concern, love you all deep deep.

Anyways luckily for me, my flight's WhatsApp chat group was a support system. Everyone's spirits were still lifted. We would update one another, joke about how we should all get quarantined together and play mahjong. LOL. Or video call one another to drink (crew life) and livestream netflix. Somebody suggested to make a video montage of quarantine life hahahaha cute. #unitedbywings

Okay so here's what went down:

Day 1 of QO

All of us received the call from MOH about a confirmed case (it was already broadcasted on the news) hence there would be a house visit to assess our accommodation. So apparently you need to have an adjoining toilet with your bedroom, for it to be considered fit for quarantine. After waiting for 10hrs, it was 11pm and I just managed to nap after not sleeping for 27hrs due to stress okay. 2 police officers and 1 nurse stood outside my door, all donned surgical masks and gloves. Temperature was taken. Acts of violation were briefed as well. Signed a lot of documents. They knew I took over the master bedroom and with that my freedom was taken away. Before I continue can I just say they work tirelessly 24hrs 7days a week. Thank you for your service, really.

So I had to like fill in my temperature on a form thrice daily. Anyways yay my house was deemed fit for quarantine. Best news all day because I already packed in case I was dragged away from my mother. I would legit cry like sobz and like stretch out hand all.

Basically my mother could continue going to work, that's fine. I would have to keep 2 meters away from her at all times which was also fine because at least I could see and talk to her which was really my saving grace. When she's at work I'm allowed to move around the house for sanity sake. Otherwise being cooped up in a small room was worse than being in jail. Or as my colleague mentioned, an asylum. But but but, I do think it's for the better like I don't wanna put anyone at risk and I might actually be safer at home as well. My family all germophobes HAHA. Some foreign crew would have to be quarantined at government allocated quarters like D'Resort because they live with housemates. Which was sad but honestly not a bad alternative as well. Free laundry and have you seen the menu?!

Yes to free food.

Day 2 of QO

Woke up from a phone call. First spot check at 2pm. It was a WhatsApp video call to check my morning temperature as well as for any symptoms. Also to check if I was at home. Pretty sure that was the main objective. Also realised I had 3 missed calls HAHAHA thank god they didn't come down to drag my ass and tag on an ankle buzzer. I was in deep sleep like finally after I knocked out at 8am this morning. My hours are so screwed due to UK bioclock and really, the undue stress. I hate disrupted sleep. Also second WhatsApp video call came at 4.45pm when I just stepped out of the shower. Tad bit feel like no privacy but I'm home so cannot complain already. And hey it was an eventful day cause I made full use of my time on ground. My shoe boxes were delivered, I fixed them up and tadah:

ALSO, MY BB CAME FOR SPECIAL DELIVERY!!!

Hehe, "happy quarantine flowers" he calls it. He bought me dinner and bbt! Happy me. But it was so funny because he had to stand outside the door like a grab delivery man. And the last WhatsApp video call spot check was at 9pm so I guess we're done for the night. Wah, I really appreciate our healthcare workers and government officials for their hard work. If only you can hear what's going on in the background everytime they call me. It's tons and tons of people calling all the quarantined to make sure we abide by the law to keep the rest of you safe.

10 more days, I'm counting down.

Day 3 of QO

It's the weekend and I'm stuck at home. Also missed Brandon's birthday celebration yesterday. Sigh. First WhatsApp video call came in at 12pm and oh btw they can see us but we can't see them. HAHA.

This was taken before QO 

Touched up my artwork a little. It's not the sun okay, it's the Japanese Wave. Second spot check just came in at 5.30pm while I was watching Itaewon Class. Netflix all day errday. Last WhatsApp video call for the night came at 9pm. Wah limbu here actually finished the whole drama. Hahaha. Counting down 9 more days yaz.

Omg I have like 5 other crew friends messaging me since yesterday about how they have been served QO as well :( To the rest who are still flying, please stay safe!! #unitedbywings

Day 4 of QO

I woke up a lil' depressed. I'd like to just step out get a beer laugh with friends for just half an hour if it isn't too much to ask. Also gloomy thoughts popped into my head. What if at the end of my quarantine, I head back to work and my first flight back has another confirmed case. Is it straight to 14 days of quarantine again? I might lose it. Really.

👌🏼

Added the japanese mayo + pepper

EVERYTHING WITH NACHOS IS THE BEST THING EVA

Okay first WhatsApp video call came at 1pm. It legit feels like I'm waiting for standby call up LOL. And the second call came at 3.15pm hahaha I really damn sian omg I'm like bipolar now. Half still positive half like I'm sooo done. Halpz. Anyways, have you all seen this chinese match making programme. Wah my mum and I love it. It's super funny. I think it's called 新相亲时代: Dating with the parents.

The last spot check call for the night was about 9pm? I hope I'll feel much better tomorrow.. 8 more days. Too. Freaking. Draggy.

Day 5 (only?!?!?) of QO

My soul is tired and restless. I'm at home everyday but I feel like I need a break. I need to fly. Don't get me wrong. I love, loveee spending my off days at home. Like I choose staying home over meeting friends anytime. I'm an introverted extrovert. I must have my alone time. But if I'm out and since I'm already out, I will be the highlight of the party. I thought of all people, quarantine would be the easiest for me. Just watch dramas, download games or catch up on sleep. What's so difficult. It's like 14 off days leh!! Dream come true?? Nope. My kind of off days is when I can sleep 14hrs without setting alarms and just 自然醒. My kind of off days is when after I heal from me time, I need a good meal and a good laugh with friends. My kind of off days is when I get to do what I wanted to do but couldn't cause I haven't stopped working. Every 3 days flight, 1 day off to rest. Every 5 days flight, 2 days off to rest and it's well spent. Every 7 days flight, 3 days off to rest, it's well spent and my soul fulfilled.

But 5 days off (so far) and I don't feel rested. I feel like crying. I don't know what time they will call me and it feels like I'm on standby thrice a day. You know that jumpscare when you get called up for a shitty ass flight? Yeah thrice a fucking day. I set alarms, I'm lethargic and I haven't slept for more than 7hrs so far. You see when you fly, you're physically tired. There was once I did a Melbourne, I checked in, took a 'nap' and woke up when my alarm rang. Alarm to get ready for work. HAHAHA I SLEPT 22HRS. SO FUCKING RESTED. Then I flew home, took a short nap and met my girlfriends. So freaking wonderful?

I love off days after a long flight cause I miss home and my umbilical cord is uncut. I get to see my mom. Yes, I'm glad to spend quarantine at home and see her everyday. I'm so thankful that she spent her weekends with me instead of going to the gym. I'm so grateful that she goes to work a little later, and comes home a lot earlier just to settle my meals and make sure I'm well taken care of. And that I'm not alone for too long. But even with all her love, I just need to like walk somebody's dog y'know. Like take a walk to the freaking market near my house and eat bak kut teh. I have taken my life for granted.

Freaking Brandon sent me this.

First WhatsApp video call came at 11am, the earliest so far. I jumped out from my bed legit mini heart attack. Everytime I get their call no matter how tired I am, I could never go back to sleep. It's like that heavy heart but weighing at the back of your mind.

Also the only door I open every 15mins is my fridge door. I highly doubt I can fit into my uniform after these 2 weeks. See what I mean:

Ichiran 4 lyfe. Heh heh.

My mom complain say I stay at home still can spend money HAHA. Yah I bought the shoe display boxes which I fixed, gelish nail removal etc. When my other goods come I show you all k. Today the gelish nail removal came so had some self-love moments.

Removed my gelish nails (finally) and painted nail strengthener. Silver lining of quarantine I guess. Finally allowing my nails to breathe.

Also can I cry? I received such a sweet message regarding my blog:

I try to stay strong okay? The last spot check video call came at 8.45pm. Omg errbody, 7 more days to breathing fresh air!

Day 6 of QO

Finished the entire Melting Me Softly drama. Oh if I have to choose one oppa for life is Ji Chang Wook. 2 words: My type. I don't consider him as a pretty kpop idol that's why. Like he is versatile in roles, and everytime he cries you legit can feel his pain and and and omg his kiss scenes?!?! It's a kiss scene alright. Not a peck on the lips for 1hr  Y'know that kind whereby you wonder if it's a still shot or screen hang. HAHA. His kisses are fuyooooooooh. I also feel hot watching it 

Did you know he is the first korean actor to be announced as a global model for Calvin Klein?

He is perfect, visually at least. Based on a crew who served him on flight, he sleeps like a baby. Wahlao she took pictures with him somemore. I. Am. Super. Jealous. Like every Korean flight I have, I always wish he is onboard. Kid you not. Like if I have to choose Hyun Bin, Park Seo Joon, Nam Joo-hyuk, Song Seung-heon or Ji Chang Wook. Ji chang wook forever and ever. Shit is it my Korean fan mode on. Ilearntkoreanforhim 오빠 사랑해 ❤

Ehem moving on.. First WhatsApp video call when I was in deep sleep. I answered it and went straight back to knock out mode. LOL. Second spot check video call came at about 4.50pm? Looking forward to having Japchae for dinner. Haha I asked my mother to dabao back for me. Shiokz

WHAT IS NOT SHIOK IS THIS PIECE OF NEWS

During this quarantine period, I see my friends clubbing and drinking on Instagram stories. I told myself it's okay, hey when I'm done with quarantine I can get a drink with friends too. But now? I feel like when I'm finally out of "jail", the world would have changed. Like everything would have passed me by. Now flights have been slashed by 96% and we are only left with 9 functioning planes. Entertainment venues would have closed when I'm out. What more can change during this volatile period? I can't bear to imagine. I understand the need for such measures. But I, I just. All I did was report for work. That's all. Report for my flight to london and my life is on standstill.

Last call for the night came at 9pm which means 6 more days to go but so what.

I decided to paint so I did this in 2hrs.

My 4th time painting in my life. Not bad la hor. Quite proud considering I anyhow just whack nia.

Day 7 of QO

Was streaming Netflix the whole morning and caught this disturbing movie, The Platform. Fell asleep at 8am, first call came at 10am. Knocked out straight and was rudely awake at 2pm for the second WhatsApp spot check video call.

Yesterday I sort of lost it on ig

I received 60++ 加油 messages (as of now) and I wanna cry.

Let's all hang in there. I see so many rescue flights I also wanna cry and I'm not even having my period. #unitedbywings

Hahahaha if I kena call up. I'll be the first sitting in the briefing room LOL. Whether I can fit into my uniform or not, idgaf. The most the zip give way nia. No fear.

Also the last Whatsapp video spot check call came in at 8pm. My favourite MOH caller called. HAHA

Mr Pink/ Ms Pink/ Mr White/ Ms White is the 4 MOH staff who call us routinely and randomly. Of course there are more than 4 but these few voices are distinct but since we can't see their faces, we label them by the background. Show you what I mean tomorrow. MR WHITE ON MY LAST DAY I WILL SAY YOU GOT NICE VOICE HAHAHAHA HE WILL SAY VERY CUTE THINGS LIKE ALRIGHT HAVE A GOOD NIGHT OKIE SEE YOU. 

A gift for my mumsie ❤

5 more days everybody. 5 more days.

Day 8 of QO

Seriously. First screw up ever, but not unheard of. First WhatsApp video spot check call came at 12.15pm and the second one came at 12.17pm LOL?? I said "Er, your colleague just called to take my temperature reading?" "HUH CALL ALREADY AH" "Yah" "Okay" I was sleeping. Omg. The third call cam at 12.34pm. Kid you not. "This is the third morning call." "Huh they called already? But not in system." Wtf wah angst. I only slept for 4hrs leh. 

Also yesterday I ran a poll. Apparently quite a few number of people want to see me on YouTube.

Honestly the idea of being an influencer scares me. I have so many haters hahahaha. Like blogging is fine cause it's a one way platform. If I were to put myself out there on Youtube.. idk. A lot of people like when I talk to the camera generally vlogging of my daily life. But that's just 15 seconds. Of hotel rooms, of eating, of drinking, of crew life, of offdays and/or of loved ones. I can't imagine screening through my shots, editing and ask people to Like Share Comment and Subscribe.

Like I'm sooo interested but scared y'know.

I have so many supportive friends. Like a lot. A. Lot. 

YOU SEE AWW.

Anyways, the third official Video call spot check did not come and I guess this means.. 4 more days. FOUR MORE DAYS!! Oh wait it came but in a normal call form at 11.45pm.

Day 9 of QO

The first WhatsApp video call came in at 10.25am. So freaking early omg. The second video call was a good timing at 4.30pm. I started on a new drama and it's super funny. "A little thing called first love" I laugh nonstop hahaha it's damn stupidly cute la.

I made use of this drama to regulate my sleeping pattern. Because I've been sleeping at 8am and waking up at 5pm with 2 random spot check calls during this sleeping period, I tried to not sleep for 24hrs. And I did. I know siao right. In hopes to toh at 8pm and auto wake at 8am or something. But wtf, I slept at 8pm but woke up at 2am. Even skipping sleep for 24hrs didn't help me with my sleeping period. Hahaha. Plus the last spot check WhatsApp video call was at 9.15pm. Ugh. I was in deep sleep already.

It's 2.30am now and I just saw my company's issued statement regarding temporary employment options. And this caught my eye:

AHAHAHA IS IT MY TIME TO GIVE PEOPLE RAMDOM SPOT CHECK VIDEO CALLS? ALSO DOES THIS MEAN WE CAN FINALLY PUT A FACE TO MR WHITE? LOL

Anyways. Let me hear it. 3 more days everybody. Three. More. Days. Ooooh I can't wait.

Day 10 of QO

I didn't do much today other than finishing up the drama. I love, loveee school dramas cause I'm feeling like an old fuck and I reminisce the good old days. HAHA.

And right, there have been so many amazing artworks and crew quizzes on ig. Really can feel the love.

Cute de.

All three WhatsApp video calls came in at 10.30am, 3pm and 8.30pm respectively. So you know what it means right. 2 MORE DAYSS. TWO MORE AND I'M STEPPING OUT INTO THE NEW WORLD.

Day 11 of QO

Did nothing except slept the whole day away. There was only one morning WhatsApp spot check video call which came in at 7am and no more.. I wonder why tho. Aiya who cares. As I'm typing this now, it's 12hrs 20mins more to the end of my quarantine order.

Just wanna thank my mother for taking such good care of me these 13 days. I can't wait to be out. Absolutely. Cannot. Wait.

Oh wait wait the last video call came at 12.15am and it's so weird HAHAHA HE ASKED FOR 3 SELFIES OF ME IN MY ROOM. I mean I get it, it's to check I'm in my room but when did this new system get implemented LOL.

Day 12 of QO

And with the last WhatsApp video spot check call at 7.15am I AM DONE WITH MY QUARANTINE. Now just need to countdown until 12pm and I can officially dance around my neighbourhood. I'm so excited I haven't slept. HAHA.

Finally looking human

I have constantly updated throughout my quarantine period because my friends said that this was actually good for my mental health. This is just a journal for the curious minds about my daily life under quarantine. Thank you for your support. Thank you for reading my 14 days log. It means a lot. With this, it is my pleasure to inform you that I am officially done serving my quarantine order.

Also I wouldn't blog what I shouldn't blog so don't worry! What is confidential would be kept confidential. So hor, I don't get why I DO MY ACTIVITIES ALONE AT HOME also got people not happy. I got no father no brother no sister no husband no children and no pets. So this quarantine is a lil tougher for me I suppose. Yet still got people think I'm having fun by snitching on me saying I didn't serve my quarantine order properly. It's such a tough time now for everyone so I don't know what you get for shitting on me. Shouldn't you make yourself useful if you have so much time. I mean, if you so free to sabotage you might as well come talk to me la. I finish serving my quarantine order also got people wanna niam. Seriously. I so kelian already, shouldn't we be united and stand together as one? Ugh.